Do you ever have those days where you realize you’re NOWHERE near where you thought you would be at a certain point in your life? Maybe you thought you’d be married by a certain age, or done with school by a certain year. Maybe you thought you’d be traveling or living/working somewhere exotic. Maybe you never thought you’d leave home, or vice versa, couldn’t wait to leave, but haven’t. Maybe you’ve failed at something, lost a job. Maybe your significant other broke up with you, or you have been disappointed, stepped on, or let down in more ways than you can count.
Maybe you never had any idea where you’d go, who you’d be, or what you’d do…
Maybe you still don’t.
This is something I struggle with sometimes (okay… a lot). I’ve always been the type of person to look forward to the next thing; graduation from HS, graduation from College, working, marriage, living life… I’m generally happy and easily excitable, but am I content? Do I know how to really live in the moment, soaking it up and enjoying all the wonders that God provides every day?
As I sit here, on the day I turn 27, I reflect on the past years of my life. I’ve done a lot, seen a lot, loved and worked a lot. I’m not ANYWHERE near where I thought I’d be, had you asked me at 10. I harbored fantasies that I’d be married by now (yes, I’m one of those people who have a pinterest board dedicated to my “one-day dream wedding”…no, I’m not ashamed), working at a job I loved, in a really cool place with lots of things to do, and of course I’d be making art, writing, reading, and doing all the things I love.
I’ve lost my hearing at 5, gained a Cochlear Implant at 6, played soccer for 16 years, graduated from High School as valedictorian, completed college with honors, struggled with an eating disorder (from which I learned a lot, and am eternally thankful for the people who supported me even when it made me want to hate them), run marathons, taught school, obtained a Masters degree, worked in museums, worked in a coffee shop (YUMMMMMM!), and am now wondering what else I will do. I’m on the brink of potentially doing some things I couldn’t have pictured before; I’ve changed and grown a lot over the years, and I think I have a healthier perspective now than I’ve ever had.
There’s really only one thing I’m sure of… (okay; two… coffee is DELISH).
Okay, I think I’ll leave it at that for now. Sorry (not sorry) for all the images, but as an artist, images often speak more than text alone. I should make some images with verses and watercolors and sell those… hmmm… or just plaster them all over my walls to remind me of what I never EVER want to lose sight of!
Love you all!